Celery as provocation

So, rant.

In a recent development, the consultants are now joining research at the lunch table (apparently an unprecedented event with no known origins).

Oh, heaps of fun! I can now be regaled with stories of force-feeding peking ducks and general statements of ridicule for eating my celery steak while completely sober. Previously this activity has been limited to offical events which are rare, and feature alcohol, thus enabling even me to be able to hold conversations about car prices and skiing resorts without actually dying of boredom. And also, to be heckled and take it with good humour or even give some back.

Oh woe is me for being the youngest employee. I just don't understand why people have to be dicks and go around spreading negative energy (she said in a huff, why can't everyone just be nice?).